Is your partner (mainly boys and dear hubbies) cheating on you? 16 Questions to ask yourself

First draft to be finetuned after receiving feedback

Introduction

After the huge success of the article on the 'Do's and Don'ts before marriage' with more than 200 visits on its own and other articles on Divorce, we probe into a very sensitive issue. The idea is not to create conflict but mainly to make the partners realise whether what is happening in their daily lives is normal or not. Even if your answers to the questions in this article provide indications that you are not being cared for as normally one would expect, it does not necessarily imply that there is cheating as all depends on the rules of the game already set within the couple. Doubts should ideally be cleared by subtle discussions in order not to hurt the partner.

The solutions proposed may appear to be radical but should be implemented in a very subtle way as well. Nervous reactions on the part of your partner in the face of very smooth implementation of the proposed solutions could indeed indicate that your hubby or boyfriend is hiding something as one would usually expect one's partner not to hide anything. To note that these questions could also be applicable to girlfriends and wives depending on the situation.

These are merely suggestions based on observations and in consultation with a few regular readers of our articles. This could could as well be applied to girlfriends and wives  who in certain cases by being more independent and liberal can take to such bad habits. Take it or leave it!

The 16 Questions

Some guys say ‘Gettin' married is like getting into a bath tub. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot’ and when it’s ain’t so hot it’s better to get into another tub'. At times, even though they have serious doubts, girls prefer not to know about their boyfriend's or husband's affairs in so far as they are being sufficiently cared for.

These are merely suggestions based on observations and in consultation with a few regular readers of our articles. This could could as well be applied to girlfriends and wives  who in certain cases by being more independent and liberal can take to such bad habits. Take it or leave it!

Is your boyfriend or dear hubby cheating on you? 16 Questions to ask yourself

1.       Do you feel any kind of distance between you and him?

2.       Does he make love to you as he used to do or is it getting longer and longer or rarer and rarer?

3.       For couples living together, does he often have last minute commitments which explain why he cannot get back home before 9pm on a regular basis?

4.       Does he at times during weekends go supposedly for work or on outings with his friends?

5.       Do you feel that he still loves you and does he tell you ‘I love you’ lesser and lesser?

6.       What was your husband doing before which he has stopped doing to show care and attention?

7.       Has he been talking unusually less or more to you than what he used to? Both could be the result of a feeling of guilt.

8.       Does he go out with his friends without you around systematically?

9.       Is he more demanding than before?

10.   Does he at times threat to leave the house or to kick you out?

11.   Does he still discuss long term plans with you?

12.   Are there certain things he asked you for in bed and you always refused?

13.   Does he spend a lot of time on his laptop which he supposedly uses for work?

14.   Have you always been trusting him unquestionably?

15.   Does he often tell you that he has meetings at noon and that he cannot take your calls?

16.   Do you feel that you have been absent of his life for X reasons for some time and no longer recognize him?

Some ways to check on any doubt

If you have any doubt after asking yourself these questions and besides what most women already do i.e. checking their hubby's mobile and email, then try these if possible:

·         Sit by his side when he/she is on the Net at night

·         Call at his work by surprise for lunch time and again

·         Ask to accompany him  in his outings or when he goes out at night, time or just ask him to take you somewhere else. It will at the same time show how much he cares

·         Do go to see him at work a few nights if you can afford to do so.

Conclusion

The implementation of these suggestions requires a very tactful approach which without impeding on his/her privacy allow to better gauge your partner's potential propensity to cheat.

In spite of all this, the bottom line is to assess how far your partner really cares about your relationship and your family and whether you should, on your side, envisage some changes to improve the situation. As mentioned in the introduction, the ideal way to go about it to have a mature, subtle and tactful discussion so as not to arouse any issue where, in fact, there were none. At times, as well, ignorance is bliss and jealousy may simply anihilate a relationship! So, be careful.